Trust God when You feel out of your Depth
Many times when we are praying for God to change things in our lives, it can feel like everything is going the wrong way and we are tempted to give up and think that it is a waste of time to pray or trust God. But the truth is that God has a way of working things together to bring complete freedom. God's plan is always looking ahead and long term, while we are looking at today and can't see past the problem. More times than not we miss it because we give up to soon.
When my youngest son was 4yrs old, he was outside playing with a little friend and fell and broke his leg between the knee and hip (the femur). He was taken to the Children's department at the Royal Victoria Hospital. Where for 4 days he lay waiting on a slot for surgery. In that time we were all trusting God for healing. The peace of God was all over him, and he was so calm - which was a miracle in itself. We were doing everything we knew to do. I played worship music next to him continually and as a family we were praying in agreement. You see, although we didn't know at the time, but my son had Asperger Syndrome, so this was a big change and disruption for him to cope with as he had many difficult issues. On the second day, there was a 9yr old girl in the bed opposite, she had fallen on a trampoline and had smashed her knee. She was very distressed, I will never forget her, she was a twin, and was in so much pain and distress. The Doctor had explained that it would take a number of surgeries to rebuild the knee which would be spread out over months, and would be up to a year before she would be able to walk again.
When my Mum and Dad came to visit, Dad went over to speak to the little girl and her mother and asked her if she wanted him to pray for her. After mum and dad had left, the little girl called me over and asked me "Who was that man?" I explained that it was my Daddy and she told me that when he prayed she felt something moving inside her knee, and that the pain had gone. Later that afternoon they took her for her 1st surgery, but she arrived back into the ward with a support on her knee, and a big smile on her face. The doctors couldn't explain what had happened, but she didn't need surgery and she would be able to go home as soon as she was able to take a few steps. About an hour later she was able to walk from one side of the bed to the other. I rejoiced with them as they left the hospital, but felt a little disappointed that this same kind of miracle hadn't happened for my son.
On the 4th day, the Consultant came to have a chat with me. He explained that my son's break was in a very bad place, and at this stage it would take quite a lot of force to set it into place, and that they would have to put him into a body cast (both legs up to the waist) and that he would have to go to Musgrave Hospital for 8 weeks, because the heavy white cast would be to difficult for me to work with. He kept asking me if I understood and if I would agree, But I kept saying well we will see. He wasn't very pleased with my response, but I just couldn't agree, because I didn't want to leave him, I wanted to be able to take him home. When they took him away for surgery, I remember going outside to wait, and just bursting into tears. I had hope and faith in my heart but at the same time the words of the doctor and exhaustion were fighting me. Later as I saw the nurses wheeling the bed back into the ward I remember seeing the blue cast and I knew at that moment that it was good news. I was rejoicing inside as the doctor explained that the bone had started to knit together again on its own accord and was in perfect place, that they didn't have to touch it and that they had decided to put the lighter weight cast on. It was still both legs up to his waist but it meant that I would be able to lift him myself, so I could take him home. On the 10th day we got home.
After 2 weeks, we were back for a check up and the x-ray showed that the break had healed really well, I listened in one room while the doctor told the consultant in the next room - what the x-ray showed and asked if they could arrange to take the cast of early. My heart was beating with expectation, but then it sank again as the consultant said - NO - I said 8 weeks, and 8 weeks it will be. He would not move. I could feel disappointment rising up inside me but as we waited for the ambulance to pick us up again, I got talking to another mother, her son had come for his checkup as well, but his leg had slipped inside the cast and they were going to take him back to surgery to break it again and reset it. So I began to rejoice over the good news that we had received, even if he had to keep the cast on. Sometimes you have to count your blessings along the way.
I could tell you so much more that happened over the next weeks and months, it was a time that taught me so much. But I will skip to a year later - when we went to the checkup - the consultant measured the 2 legs 3 times because he couldn't believe his own eyes - he was amazed - he explained because of the type of break and where it was at, the best he hoped for was that the broken leg would be at least 2cm shorter - but both legs were exactly the same. PRAISE GOD - I could now see a year later that everything had worked out for good. Maybe I didn't get the miracle I thought I wanted at the time - but instead God worked a miracle in my son and in my heart and in the end it was the very best result.
You see sometimes God works a miracle for us and sometimes he works the miracle in us.
Just like the little girl - he worked a miracle for her that day - but for me - the miracle was what he worked in us. But the end result was the same - complete healing.
I want to encourage you today to keep trusting God, keep praying and worshiping him, keep loving him and never give up because he has a good plan for you. He can turn your disappointments around, he can heal your broken heart and he can work a miracle for you or in you.
I have chosen this song called "out of my depth" - because many times we feel totally out of our depth in 'life' not knowing how things are going to work out, fighting disappointment, hopelessness, sickness or disease, depression etc - but God wants us to be out of our depth in his love - learning to lean on him, learning to cast our cares onto him, learning to let him carry and strengthen us and teach us along the way.
I can't tell you how God will work a miracle for you or in you - but I can tell you that He loves you and has a good plan for you - If you won't give up on Him or yourself - HE WILL NOT GIVE UP ON YOU xx Audrey
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